July 4

Don’t Allow Divorce to Rattle You at the Roots


You can never make peace in the outer world
unless you make peace with yourself.
-Dali Lama-

Love is the source of good that exists in all things… and yet sometimes you just can’t seem to access that love. 

You can’t feel it, can’t give it, and you just can’t try anymore. Divorce becomes the obvious next step.

Getting a divorce ranks right up there with the top life changes that rattle you at the roots. 

Creating a vision for your future helps you find peace.

It can remove the fear that so often accompanies stepping into the unknown…

You now know! You know in your mind, in your heart, in your soul that you are going to be OK.  You can see it!

“The only thing worse than being blind, is having sight without vision.” -Helen Keller-

Divorce to Rattle

When you know what your new life looks like… divorce can be seen as part of the path to get there..

When divorce is no longer a blame-game, peace becomes possible again.

The clarity of vision calms you at the core… reduces resistance to make agreements because you know where you want go, and what you need to get there. 

But looking at your life is like a fish trying to look at the water it’s swimming in, encircled by, immersed in.  

It’s hard to detach, to step back and see things from an objective viewpoint.

“The difference between transformation by accident and transformation by a system is like the difference between lightning and a lamp.
Both give illumination, but one is dangerous and unreliable,
while the other is safe, directed, available.”
-Marilyn Ferguson

So, here is a simple 3-Step System you can use to get you started

… to help you reach down deep and identify what matters most
… to help you objectively understand yourself and the life you were meant to live:

  1. Find a quiet spot… relax the body and still the mind.
  2. Ask yourself, “What makes my heart sing? What would I want to do, to be, to give… if there were no limits?”
  3. Then, ask yourself, “Why do I want these things? What need would they fill?”

Now you have a list of what you really need to live a life you love! Let me explain.

  • Maybe you would travel to Africa if there were no limits… Why?  Because that would satisfy a need for adventure.
  • Maybe you would write the next great novel or paint the next masterpiece. Why? Because that would satisfy a need to be creative.
  • Maybe you would build huge wealth which would allow you to support an important cause or charity? Why? Because that would satisfy a need to make a difference in the world, to help others.

As you explore your own inner landscape, you arrive at a place that feels exciting, energizing, enlivening.

Your deepest longings bubble to the surface… like the need to be adventurous, to be creative, to be fulfilled.  

Armed with these new intentions, you can more accurately discern forks in the road… you can more precisely choose the direction your life will take.

Maybe you’ll go to Africa, or paint a masterpiece or build a billion-dollar business… Maybe not.

But most likely, moving towards adventure, creativity and helping others will now be non-negotiable, as you start living life on your own terms.


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