July 11

Learning the Language of Love


Recent research has indicated
that the average individual listens for only 17 seconds
before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.
-Gary Chapman-

You want to turn the tide of a conversation which is stirring up a tsunami of trouble.

Disaster is not a reality you want to support… not something you want to experience as your experience of life. 

You feel overwhelmed, drowning in anger and frustration; desperate for a way out and into a better conversation.

Before you begin taking care of the problem… make the decision to express:

  • Gratitude
  • Kindness
  • Curiosity

Now you might be thinking,Really, I’m the offended one and I’m supposed to be magnanimous! Tell me why?”

Here’s today’s NUGGET- Let me further explain these 3 aspects of the language of love…

  • GRATITUDE- Why should you look at this person you’re in conflict with, and wordlessly, in your mind, find “something” to be grateful for?  

Because this immediately elevates your levels of oxytocin and dopamine, which raises your experience of excitement, enthusiasm, happiness and joy!  

You gave this offering to yourself by silently offering gratitude to another. 

Gratitude changes your dominant thinking, changes your experience of the experience in front of you.

Shields you from negativity
Makes you 25% happier
Rewires your brain
Eliminates stress
Improves sleep
Boosts self-esteem and performance
Enhances the Law of Attraction
Improves relationships

  • KINDNESS– Why should you give up angry words for patience, for unwarranted emotional generosity? 

Because as you gently let go of the ego, you move from the personal to the impersonal love that underlies all creation.

Unwarranted kindness allows the possibility of love to return to your relationship.  

I’ve witnessed a simple smile
melt the hardest heart!
-Goldie Hawn-

  • CURIOSITY- Why should you sincerely seek to understand, then to be understood?  

Language of Love

Because your sincere listening lowers resistance in the person you’re in conflict with. As they feel understood, their need to defend and throw spears disappears.

They realize you are not the enemy, so their nastiness is not appropriate.  They correct their own bad behavior!

Now you can begin an authentic (untriggered) conversation to resolve the real issues… which can ultimately draw you closer instead of blowing you apart!

There are some people
who could hear you speak 1,000 words,
and still not understand you…
And there are others who will understand you
without you even speaking a word.

(Take the lead and be this person…Watch your life transform!)

These actions are the first 3-steps in stepping into your true power. 

Healthy conflict begins here. Goodwill tears down walls built up over many years.  The key of course, is sincerity.

If you found this article helpful, feel free to share it…  And I love to hear your thoughts.  I read all comments.



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